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betterthan_good's Journal

Better Than Good
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
If you are tired of playing the role of "Good Girl"(or "Good Boy" for that matter), you have come to the right place.

Here, there are no expectations or recriminations. There are no unspoken obligations for you to never live up to, no matter how hard you try. There are no rules designed to bring only shame and blame.

In fact, shame and blame are the enemies here. As are guilt and putting everyone else's needs before your own (don't even try to tell us that you "don't have" needs!)

We can not live our lives worrying about what someone else will think.

All of us here are recovering from "the disease to please."

We've struggled to meet our families' demands. We've tried to be someone we're not. We've taken on roles others expected us to play. We've repressed emotions in the name of making everyone else feel comfortable... or making ourselves feel safe.

No More!

We attest and affirm that it is possible to be considerate and polite without being a doormat. It is possible to give respect and get respect at the same time. We are allowed to get angry -- and we are capable of controlling that anger. We are allowed to express our sorrow, our hurt, and/or our fear without shame. We are allowed to be vulnerable. It does not make us "weak."

Not only are we allowed to have needs, but we are allowed to have them met.

This does not make us "whiney." This does not make us "demanding." This does not make us "inferior," "worthless" or "weak." This does not make us "selfish." This does not make us "unfeminine" or "unmanly."

Everyone here is at a different stage in zir journey, or cares about someone who is making that journey, or both. This means that there needs to be an atmosphere of caring and respect in this community that will be cultivated carefully.

We encourage you all to be honest. We also expect you to show everyone else here the same tolerance that you would like to be shown to you.

The nature of our subject matter implies some trust in sharing our experiences. Please respect that trust. Inherent in that trust and respect is the knowledge that what is said here, stays here.

Both of your moderators do mediation in real life. If disagreements arise here, expect them to be mediated. [Come to think of it, you should probably expect a disagreement or two. It's only natural when people discuss things that are important to them.]

If you troll, you're out. If you flame, you will find yourself "on probation," in the hopes that you'll stop. If you don't, you're out.

Please try to stay on topic. Obviously, what constitutes "on topic" will be as broad and as diverse as our membership.

No spam, no ads; all the usual caveats as well. :)